Jokeless

When it comes to classic comedies, 1995's Clueless doesn't have the reputation as a laugh riot that something like Caddyshack does. But it is still a comedy. Which means it's still ripe for an ad to ruin.

Cher: "I used to be pretty clueless about shopping."

This might seem cringe-inducing until you remember that the movie itself drops the word "clueless" in the dialogue at least three or four times. So it actually tracks.

Amber: "Among other things."
Cher: "Like when I heard I could save by getting cash back with Rakuten, I was like 'As if!' But then I was like, 'Ugh, why didn't I do this sooner?'"

I recently rewatched this movie and one of the key things you notice when you watch it is that its protagonist is actually pretty annoying. And if you think these lines are annoying coming out of a cute teenager, imagine how annoying they are coming out of a 46-year-old anti-vaxxer.

Cher: "You can get cash back on all the fashion, even your most capable outfits..."

I know "most capable outfit" is a specific reference to the movie because I've seen it in the last month, but that's a fairly deep cut IMO. This movie is nearly 28 years old. What percentage of people are going to get that? Okay I don't care anymore.

Cher: "...at your fave beauty stores - ooh, eye cream! Not that I need it."

"Not that I need it, because I got plastic surgery instead." (I have no idea if Alicia Silverstone actually got plastic surgery. Either way, she looks fine for 46, but 46 isn't even that old and also she definitely looks like she's in her mid-40s. Settle down. Do you think half the pitch for this ad was "We'll let you talk about how young you definitely still look?")

Cher: "And on pretty much whatever! Who put that there? In conclusion, you'd have to be butt-crazy to shop without Rakuten."
[class applauds]
Cher: "Cha-ching!"

"Butt-crazy" is of course a reference to the least weird part of Clueless, when Cher decides she wants to lose her virginity to her stepbrother. (Ironically this is probably the part of the movie that has aged the best, at least in terms of this country's porn preferences. Or so I hear.) It also seems notable that Paul Rudd also appeared in a Super Bowl ad in his capacity as a major Marvel superhero while Silverstone was relegated to playing the nearly three-decade-old hits.

Amber: "Um, hello, do I even get a rebuttal?"
Cher: "I'm sure it'd be... re-brutal."
Amber: "Whatever."

And that is the joke you get when ad writers can't just pull directly from the movie. (I don't remember that line in the movie anyway. If it was, probably the reason I forgot is because it is not funny and sucks.)

[Cher sits down]
Guy behind her: "Aren't you a little old for high school?"
Cher: "What?" *winks at camera*

Oh sorry, we had an even better joke to go out on! "What?" Classic comedy gold right there.

Nostalgia is always serious business - remember the period from about 1990 to 1996 when suddenly half the sitcoms from the 1950s and 1960s got modern updates? I suppose I should be glad that stuff like this is relegated to easily forgotten TV commercials and we're not getting, like, a $100 million Seinfeld movie starring Miles Teller as Jerry. But as someone for whom mid-90s references should be right in the sweet spot, I just find them tiresome. Hearing adult woman Alicia Silverstone rehash a bunch of old bits from her brief period as an it-girl isn't inherently funny and this ad is far too stiff to make them work beyond just "oh yeah, that was a line in that movie" recognition bingo. For the money Rakuten presumably spent hiring Silverstone and recreating her iconic wardrobe, they could potentially have written a real commercial that gets the message across even stronger. I'm sure the marketers have all kinds of data saying that "seeing a thing you've seen before" is a huge sales driver or it wouldn't be such a common tactic, but at the very least it would help if "thing I've seen before" was even a tiny bit funny or enjoyable to watch.

Hacky 'Shack

There really is no movie so funny that a beer ad trying to capitalize on its recognizability can't completely drain it of anything resembling humor.

I say this sort of thing a lot when it comes to ads, but here I go again: I defy you to explain to me how any of this is funny. It is supposed to be funny, surely. You don't ape the aesthetic and directly pull lines from a classic comedy because you are not trying to be funny. But realistically, you probably do it because you don't know how to be funny without just referencing something funny and hoping that's enough. And it very much is not. Maybe some of these lines play funnier in the longer, online-only version of this ad with a little more context. But you knew you were making this to be cut down into 60 seconds. (In any event, I'm hard-pressed to understand what the "jokes" are here other than expecting me to laugh at the repetition of a line I've heard before - with that in mind, these were the best lines they could pull?)

Brian Cox in the Ted Knight part is fairly inspired casting, but otherwise I don't really know why anyone in this ad is in it other than "they were available." This is Serena Williams' second alcohol-promoting appearance of the 2023 Super Bowl and I guess all the talking in the Remy Martin ad gave her laryngitis because she inexplicably has zero lines in this one despite being the ostensible main character. Either way I don't know why it's her as opposed to literally anyone else. Why is Tony Romo playing Carl? I guess all the athletes here are also big golfers. Sure, why not. (Michael O'Keefe, Danny Noonan from the original movie, also makes a cameo as the "Be the ball" guy and if you knew that before reading it in a YouTube comment that puts you one ahead of me. To be fair to me, Michael O'Keefe is 67 years old.)

For good measure, the ad closes with the slogan "It's only worth it if you enjoy it" which is so vapid and devoid of meaning it could be appended to almost any commercial. What exactly is "it?" Golf? Michelob Ultra? Life? Deep stuff, man.

If you're curious, here is the full three-minute version which, I must say, adds virtually nothing except for: (a) a second shot of Michael O'Keefe in which he is much easier to recognize, (b) a couple pointless shots of the gopher that I'm amazed did not make it into the TV version, and (c) an unconnected coda with Tony Romo doing the Bill Murray "it's a Cinderella story" bit. I don't know who told Tony Romo that his Carl Spackler impression is hysterically funny but they need to be shot. (Also, astoundingly, Serena Williams still does not get even a single word of dialogue in the full version. And no, none of the lines are funnier with small bits of additional context. If anything it feels like they were being needlessly padded out to get to three minutes! Which doesn't even make sense!)