More like "blow-cus group"

If there's one thing we know about the people who make ads, it's that they think nothing is more interesting than the process of making ads.  You know how Hollywood loves to give Oscars to movies about Hollywood?  It's like that, but much dumber.

 

Virtually everything that annoys me about this now-ubiquitous ad format is here.

Ad: "The Snapshot app from Progressive rewards you for driving safe and driving less."

Flo: "Okay, what message did you hear this time?"

[No one says anything.  Beth shrugs.]

Flo: "Safe drivers can save using Snapshot?"

At least they make sure to get the message out up front.  Minor points there.  Too many ads these days hide what they're for behind 20 seconds of annoyance, such that by the time they arrive at the pitch, anyone sane has already changed the channel or walked away.  This is the last compliment I'm going to give this ad.

Kirk: "What's Snapshot?"

Flo: "...what the commercial was about."

Rashad: "I tune commercials out."

Beth: "Me too.  They're always like 'blah, blah, blah.'"

You can pretty much see the room where the ad creatives came up with this.  "Oh man, we are gonna make people THINK with this one."  Guys, if you don't pay attention to our brilliant Progressive ads, how will you ever learn about our Snapshot app, which big-brothers your driving for a modest discount and unless you are especially careful can actually cause your rates to increase?  (Also, who are these obnoxious people who signed up for a focus group and then refused to pay attention to a 30-second ad that they're being paid to pay attention to?)

So: editorializing.  That's one thing I hate.  We're not done though.

Meredith: "Tell me about it.  I'm going to a silent retreat next weekend."

What are you talking about?

Guy Whose Name Card is Not Visible: "My niece got kicked out of one of those."

Meredith: "For talking?"

GWNCINV: "Grand larceny."

[long, *hilarious* pause]

Oh, we needed Meredith to change the subject entirely so we could set up this hysterically funny joke.  Do you think the pause was there to give the audience enough time to pick themselves up off the floor?  Personally, I think it needed to be a good 30 seconds longer so I would have time to wipe the 7-Up off my TV screen after I heard the funniest thing in the world and did an enormous spit take.

That's the second thing I hate: bad jokes, and in particular bad jokes that put a gap in like "Whoa, can you believe someone just said this crazy thing???"  It's a fake crazy thing.  That didn't really happen, you just had a guy say that.  If it were real, maybe it would be a little funny.  As a written joke it sucks shit.  Sorry.

I know - believe me, I know - that the people who write ads are not professional comedy writers.  But why even bother trying to put in jokes when the attempts are this feeble?  If you're incapable of making a normal commercial, you need to at least go a lot crazier in an attempt to be memorable. I can't imagine anyone finding this post because they Googled "hilarious Progressive grand larceny ad."

(On the other hand, I just scrolled through the first dozen comments on that YouTube video and... yikes.  There really is no accounting for taste.)

Flo: "How about we get back to the savings?"

[Overlapping dialogue of everyone agreeing]

Okay, so do they care or do they not care?  If you're telling me that people care about the savings they can get with Progressive, but absolutely zone out whenever a Progressive ad comes on TV, you're writing an ad that argues against the existence of your own job.  Brilliant?

Just to annoy me further, in the YouTube version of this ad, Flo appears at the end and thanks you for "sticking around" to see more "great content," which turns out to be an additional nine seconds of very much not funny outtakes.  Oh yeah, if you thought the stuff they were willing to put on TV was mediocre, wait until you see what they WEREN'T.